Monday, August 10, 2009

Things, They are a-Changin'.

Neon green rimmed sunglasses. A bright yellow motorcycle helmet with wind powered turbines attached to a series of LED lights. Wilting flowers, maybe lilies. A cell phone with a dying battery and a tired boy writing down what he sees. It's idyllic, he thinks.

I remember you. Everything is moving with my breathing now, and my body is begging me to go to sleep, but... I remember you. You're fuzzy in my mind, and your voice fading, but...

I need some more hearts to break. I need some teenage angst and a razor blade and a sad girl's initials to carve into my arm. I need some long hair and a rock star future. I need some young rebellion and a best friend to break bottles with. I need an arrow in my heart and a head full of bad ideas.

I need a gun writing things down on me that will never wash off.

I need a confrontation in the streets. I need a heart to heart with my father. I need a late dinner with my mother. I need a flood to come and threaten to sink this little house. I need God to show up and hurt me with His love. I need breakfast with an old friend. I need my cat in the attic.

I need back what I've lost...

I need 3rd grade to start over again. I need the 3rd of March deleted from my history. I need a cold wind to prompt me to put on my jacket. I need to regret the things I've done to you. I need to need you more... more or less. I need to know what it means to need.

I need to find you in the darkness. I need to find you like a father would his daughter. I need to hold you until you fall asleep. I need to match my breathing with yours...

...and rest.

1 comment:

Knux said...

You remind me of the times I didn't think too much and things just happened and it was good, before there was love, loss and a life I could take and destroy on my own.

You reminded me of the reasons why I cry.